May 2013
pontmercyanide:
some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me.
and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about
and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.”
she meant henry david thoreau.
i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend
jaclcfrost:
wearing your favorite outfit
gelatins:
hello, is this mcdonalds? ah yes, i would like to make reservations for 2
rexuality:
realistic captions for selfies:
i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty
i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird
i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes
i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit
this is the best...
me at school: omg when i get home i've got to do loads of shit like finish that project and read that book omg i need to review for that test too omg so much to do
me at home:
mskneesocks:
you’re the only one who understands me google
iwilleatyourenglish:
iwilleatyourenglish:
once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house
i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the...
dean-tacos-cas:
spookapple:
jackvessalius:
look what we have here
i have legitimately never laughed harder and for as long in my entire life
menmas-booty:
menmas-booty:
There is this kid in my school who dresses as sonic everyday and no one knows his name so everyone just calls him sonic. He also runs through the hallways like him too.
For those who might doubt me
mishaoverlord:
surejohn221b:
iusedtobethefire:
katnisstiel:
yesbecausereasons:
real—not—real:
real—not—real:
assckles:
assckles:
I want to take a dollar bill and write “are you Misha Collins” on it and maybe one day it’ll end up in his hands and he’d be the one mind fucked for once
the journey has begun…
DOING THIS ON EVERY DOLLAR I COME ACROSS
Like I said
fandom...
egberts:
sodamist:
egberts:
i think my cat is allergic to cats
That sounds pretty Catastrophic
i hope you get arrested for that
queen-of-france:
aliciasimmons:
fat-frank:
ieroplaceable:
help
how do you get a famous blog to follow you
give them a blowjob
swallow 4 follow
#was gonna tag this as ‘brb choking’ #realized i probably shouldn’t
riddlemehiddleston:
things that say a lot about a person
their favourite character
the lyrics they write on their hands
the colours they wear
which murder weapon they prefer
how they make their tea
zarry:
people who always change their opinions to match with someone elses
foodtrucker:
‘it’s not cold’ said the PE teacher with a coat on
iamtonysexual:
jonandtheon:
jonandtheon:
jonandtheon:
MY BOOK IS LOCKED IN A CLASSROOMN
RED ASLERT
I TOLD THIS REALLY NICE KID WHO NEVER CAUSES TROUBLE AND HEREACHED INTO HIS BACKPACK AND PULLED OUT A KEYCHAIN WITH KEYS TO THE CLASSROOM AND UNLOCKED IT FOR ME??
update i asked him why he had those keys and he said “its not important” im so lost
He’ll be vital to your quest later,...
e-n-o:
*shy but actually a sex freak*
M2spookykat:
“what are you doing today”
nothing really
“ok great so you can help me with this-“
no no no
you misunderstand
i don’t mean i have nothing planned, i mean i plan to do nothing
do i even need to say something
fatggot:
i looked cute today so ill wear the same thing for the next 5 days
